Monthly Archives: January 2012
New Artwork on the Etsy Store
| January 31, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Sketches and Illustration |
One of my resolutions this year was to draw a portrait-a-day – either from reference or imagination. At the end of the first month, with thirty-one portraits in the bag, I’ve learned that my lax attitude about drawing them on whatever piece of paper was handy made for nothing except a hell of a mess. I’ve started my February batch in a dedicated sketchbook and figured I may as well list some of the loose ones online if even just to clear them out of the house.
Currently up in my Etsy store are these three portraits of assorted Doctor Who villains – more to come!
Sketchin’ 2012
| January 23, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Sketches and Illustration |
Among my resolutions for 2012 are (a) to get back into disciplined sketching and (b) to fill up some of these blank sketchbooks I’ve had laying around forever-and-a-day. I must have a dozen of them – I’ve gotten in the habit of doing all my doodling and sketching on loose pieces of paper.
Here’s the first page of the sketchbook I started last night (Offer not valid in some states):
What Does Superman See In Lois Lane?
| January 20, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Writing |
This is an article I posted on my Tumblr some months back, and which proved fairly popular at the time. It’s been getting some reblogs recently and I thought it might be worth reposting on my own blog …
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What does Superman see in Lois Lane?
Well, let’s set aside the obvious, to begin with – that’s she’s intelligent, beautiful and driven. Lois Lane is fiery and passionate, but compassionate and big-hearted, committed to her ideals, fearless, accomplished and brave. She’s wry, witty, sarcastic and clever, she takes no guff and she doesn’t acknowledge obstacles, she’s classy, brassy, bold and ultimately kind. She is, in short, enough for any hundred men.
But, yes, let’s set those aside, because as rare and exceptional a woman as Lois Lane is, surely she’s not the only one in the world. Superman has the universe at his disposal, and you have to ask what makes Lois Lane stand out among the beauties of a thousand planets, undersea kingdoms, alternate dimensions and limitless far-flung time periods. Why, in short, with all the women in a hundred universes to catch his eye, does he fall in love with the girl who works two desks over?
The relationship between Superman and Lois Lane changes every decade or so. When I was growing up in the post-Ordinary People years of constant self-analysis, they were as often estranged as they were an item, asking all those difficult questions people in long-term relationships were expected to ask themselves. This was a far cry from the by-turns white-hot and ice-cold triangle Lois, Clark and Superman maintained in the early days of the book, or the I Love Lucy hijinx which were the notorious mainstay of Lois Lane’s own comic in the early Sixties.
Still, the relationship changed from decade to decade – even stopped dead now and again – but they never parted. It’s always writ that Lois Lane is the girl for Superman. So … why?
Imagine this: Clark Kent – shy, awkward, fragile Clark Kent – works in an office with dozens of women. There are hundreds – and probably even thousands – of women working in his office building. There are millions of women in his city, who read his column, who know him from television, who bump up against him on the subway or see him the supermarket buying eggs.
And of all these women in their dozens and thousands and millions, only one - one - has ever looked at Clark Kent – with his bad posture and lack of confidence, with his shellaced-back hair and VFW donation eyeglass frames, his ugly red tie, his orthopedic shoes, his meek demeanor – and thought to herself “HE … might beSuperman.”
Don’t underestimate the power of someone seeing through the worst in you and seeing only the best. Superman, after all, only truly exists because two kind, unassuming and deeply good people found him in the wild plains of Kansas and – rather than seeing him as an alien, or a dangerous unknown, or a plastic hassle – saw a beautiful son with tremendous powers who would do only good. And so he became.
And, of course, that’s how Superman sees everyone else; even the worst of us, even his greatest enemies, he sees past their weakness and sees only the best in them (Which is, to my mind, his greatest power, although that’s perhaps for another discussion).
So, in Clark Kent – or, at least, in the Clark Kent disguise he crafted to hide his dual identity – Superman has laid out all of his weaknesses, self-doubts and fears for everyone to see. It’s as if he were saying to the world “I’m so scared of being left alone that I make lousy excuses to keep everyone at a distance. I try to always help others at my own expense, but I’m worried that others see that as spinelessness. I am reluctant to assert myself for fear of scaring people off, so I cave in,” and so on and so on, and while everyone else only sees all the failings of Clark Kent, Lois Lane still looks at him and says, no nonsense, “No, you’re Superman, we both know it.”
You may conceivably interpret this as a selfish way of looking at love, I concede, if you look at it as though I’m suggesting that you fall most strongly in love with the person who most flatters you. To my mind, though, it’s not about flattery. Rather, it’s about the power of having someone acknowledge the worst in you, but believe in you to rise above it and love you all the more strongly for it – to even despise the worst in you but love the best in you all the more fiercely. It’s about the strength you get from that.
For the sake of full disclosure, let me share this with you: I have been married, as of today, for 11 years, 9 months, 3 weeks and 2 days. I did not have to look up that number, I always know exactly how long I’ve been married. I know this because marriage has been wonderful, and I don’t want to miss a day. And it has been wonderful because of this - I am not a catch. There’s a LOT wrong with me. I am no Brad Pitt, as they say.
And yet, despite that, every now and again over the last 11 years, 9 months, 3 weeks and 2 days, I wake up in the morning to find my girl wide awake and looking at me, beaming, her eyes bright, and I come to my senses and realize that she’s not seeing my fat, bald head or dumb, cranky face, but is seeing something in me that is better than I ever expected I could be, and which gives me strength of a fashion that is essential and impossible to describe.
So imagine Clark Kent sitting there, hunched over his desk, mustard on his tie and grimly awaiting Steve Lombard dropping a firecracker under his chair, and he steals a glance at that sharp-eyed brunette he’s had the hots for forever, and he’s never told her his biggest secret but she’s giving him a look that plainly says “I bet he’s wearing the costume right now, isn’t he?”
Imagine Superman, and all his responsibilities, and the danger and pressures and the temptations, and the deep well of strength it requires to have all that power and yet to do only good for others, and imagine where it comes from: It comes from the woman he loves believing – knowing – that he has that strength, despite everything else.
Superman is totally a love story.
The City Desk – The Eat at Joe’s Riots
| January 20, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Writing |
The City Desk was a blog documenting the daily life and often absurd history of an unnamed, imaginary city somewhere in North America. Dozens of contributors helped give weight and breadth to this storied, anonymous urban institution over the course of several years, including yours truly.
What follows is an article, written by me, which originally ran on January 5, 2009.
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The Eat at Joe’s Riots
With the Stock Market Crash of 1929 came a subsequent decline in money to support local businesses, and with a record number of the workforce either laid off or economizing with wax paper-wrapped sandwich lunches from home, local eateries folded by the hundreds.
Those which survived the initial collapse and subsequent lean months of struggle were in fierce competition – a customer sitting at the counter may only be good for a dime, but every dime counted, and the battles grew serious.
It was the habit of the day that much food industry advertising was done by way of theappropriately-named “sandwich board,” a pair of wide wooden planks attached by ropes at one end, and painted with advertising slogans on either side. The boards were then worn like a crude wooden vest or awkward suit of armor – usually by a transient or otherwise unemployed man who would often work in exchange for a hot meal, and who would walk through the city crowds, enticing hungry customers to the place of business.
But even the expense of this unpolished form of promotion put a strain on some diners’ budgets, leading at least one business owner to attempt an inspired dirty trick.
According to Dr. Henry Weathers, author of The Eat At Joe’s Riots: A Story of Sandwiches, Sandwich Boards and Blood, the first culprit in the war of dirty tricks was very likely a Greek proprietor of a small sandwich shop and deli, “Pauly” Kartalopoulos. “He ran a deli which was unimaginatively dubbed something like ‘The 65th Street Deli,’ something like that, and the records show that while he did attempt legitimate sandwich board advertising, potential customers were just as likely to drop into any other deli named after its street – there were hundreds back then.”
“It was names that people remembered, and the name with the most advertising was a simple but well-established café on Hammer Ave, called Joe’s.”
What ingenuity Kartalopoulos lacked in naming his business, he made up for in spades with an under-handed idea. “He tells this to a police officer who is a frequent customer to his place,” says Weathers, “He says, ‘I see all these signs saying Eat At Joe’s, Eat at Joe’s,’ and he asks the officer, ‘hey, why don’t I just change my name to Joe, then everyone eats here, right?’ So he asks this police officer if it’s illegal to rename his place Joe and take advantage of all the sandwich board advertising for this place, Joe’s Café, or Joe’s Bistro, or whatever it is, and the cop just tells him ‘Nope.’”
“He says ‘knock yourself out.’”
If the officer had known what sort of trouble was lurking around the corner, he might have had different advice.
Whatever the case, in early 1930, Kartalopoulos rechristened his shop (and himself) “Joe’s”, peppering the exterior with colorful signs and shunning further sandwich board advertising for himself – he was now subsisting largely on the promotional efforts of his competitors. As unknowing accomplices, Kartalopoulos’ rivals were doing him tremendous business – even many of the sandwich board salesmen became confused and would direct potential customers to the wrong storefront. Kartalopoulos was getting away with it, but the problems began when his bright idea was used a second time.
“At this point, the record is utterly confused,” says Weathers, “Either someone was clued into Kartalopoulos’ scheme or they happened upon it themselves, but you start to see in the old photos and the newspaper, all these other restaurants named ‘Joe’ start popping up. Joe’s Blintzes, Joe’s Chowderhouse, Joe’s Boulangerie – Joe’s Chinese – it was a stunt which worked so well once, pretty soon everyone is desperate enough to try it, and something like twenty percent of the placesto eat in the city are under a banner reading ‘JOE’.”
Meanwhile, over at the Hammer Avenue Joe’s Café – the only legitimate Joe in the story – tempers begin to run high. “He’s watching his own business dwindle, he’s watching all these other Joe’s restaurants pop up, and he gets word that Pauly Kartalopoulos is the fellow who starts all the trouble.” Weathers describes the original Joe as a Croatian immigrant and well-known neighborhood hothead, so what follows was probably no real surprise. “A firebomb,” says Weathers, “Puts Pauly Kartalopoulos out of the Joe picture permanently.”
Shaken by the rise in aggression but unwilling to let go of a hard-stolen marketshare, the assorted faux Joe’s continue to do business as usual during the day, and up the ante at night. Joe’s-on-Joe’s violence becomes the leading cause of violent crime in the city within two months, and by September of that year, the eateries are hiring impoverished and unemployed men for more than sandwich advertising – they’re hiring for gangs.
“In short order, it becomes worse than the mob violence in Chicago, with activities ranging from individual assaults to arson and vandalism to at least two cases of murders committed while the victims were asleep in their own beds.” Weathers adds, “It’s a horrifying period in history.”
On November 10th, tensions reached their absolute peak. At some point just before the lunch rush, Emil Lapeune – short-order cook at the original Joe’s on Hammer – confronted a sandwich-board advertiser outside the door to the café. A scuffle ensued, and the sandwich-board advertiser was joined by two men who may or may not have been hired as ‘toughs,’ in case of trouble. “Lapuene was beaten badly in the struggle, it took most of the rest of the staff of the original Joe’s to break it up. At some point, one of the dishwashers leaves his post, and most historians think this is the fellow who starts the trouble at the hot food carts in front of the Justice Building, about an hour later.”
In a scene which wouldn’t look out of place in The Untouchables, an unidentified gang of men took to “Joe’s Row” – an avenue bearing at least six Joe’s-titled chow joints – breaking windows and dragging patrons out by the collars of their shirts. Armed with thick clubs, the gang was moving downtown towards Hammer Ave when one of them was shot by an unseen assailant. “This is when all hell breaks loose,” says Weathers.
By evening, several Joe’s restaurants are left empty with their doors swung wide open, either because the employees have fled or because they’ve taken to the streets to participate in the violence. Most other business have barricaded themselves inside, customers and staff alike fearing that the riots might spill through their windows and front doors. Fires light up the evening sky like the underside of an open-flame grill, and the occasional scream or gunshot come so often they begin to sound like popping fat on a sizzling hot griddle.
The riots continued well into the morning of the eleventh, with police and fire crews alike responding in full force. Damages were estimated at well over the $1,200,000 mark in terms of damage to civic services and infrastructure alone, not counting damages done to the competing establishment. At least one hundred and thirty were dead. “Sandwich boards littered the streets,” adds Weathers, “Still smoldering in the morning fog.”
The City Council was prompt to respond with the ban on the further use of the name “Joe’s” for any other eating establishment, for fear of a repeat of the violence. “Still,” Weathers adds as a final note, “Let’s wish Shoeless Joe’s all the best of luck. It will be something of an illicit thrill after all this time to, in this city, once again ‘Eat At Joe’s.’”
Half-Pint Heroes – Superman’s Rogues Edition
| January 17, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Half-Pint Heroes |
A few months back, I did a series of proto-Half Pint Heroes featuring Superman’s Rogues Gallery – my favorite collection of villains, hands-down (I do have a Superman bias, mind you). I recently went back and re-did three of them – Luthor, Brainiac and Mxyzptlk – to have them fit the current Half-Pint template, and then added two versions of Superman’s power-leeching foe The Parasite, both in his original 1960′s/1970′s look and in the costume he wore following his redesign in Superman:The Animated Series. Weird how the Parasite dresses like Leelo from The Fifth Element …
Relaunched Presents: WATCHMEN-TOO
| January 16, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Blogs and Online Projects |
The collaborative art blog RELAUNCHED started off as DC FIFTY-TOO and then MARVEL UNIVERSE TOO - with artists reimagining their own approaches to DC and Marvel Comics properties, respectively. Today, Relaunched announces its next theme month, WATCHMEN TOO:
Rumors have abounded for the last several years that DC Comics was planning a series of prequels and/or sequels to Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ ground-breaking 1985 classic Watchmen. Recently, the rumors seem confirmed, and the controversial series appears to be a go-ahead.
However you feel about the planned followup series – pro or con – it is an interesting thought experiment to ponder how exactly you might handle taking characters who served their original story so completely and perfectly and instead placing them into scenarios where they blossom into their own characters, independent of Moore’s overreaching themes of morality, authority and relativity.
For the month of February, Relaunched will host WATCHMEN TOO, and we invite all interested participants to create their own prequel or sequel to Watchmen, utilizing any of the characters (or concepts or situations) in the series in the service of inspiring their own followup. You can submit anytime starting today up through February 25 - we know, it’s short notice, but get your inspiration on!
If you have any questions, ask them in the comments, and don’t forget to check oursubmission guidelines - thanks!
Check out Relaunched here!
The City Desk – Friday Facts for June 12, 2009
| January 13, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Writing |
The City Desk was a blog documenting the daily life and often absurd history of an unnamed, imaginary city somewhere in North America. Dozens of contributors helped give weight and breadth to this storied, anonymous urban institution over the course of several years, including yours truly.
What follows are The City Desk’s Friday Facts for June 12, 2009, written by myself and Wasted Words host RJ White.
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Friday Facts: Charlie’s Angels Lunchboxes, Roadside Cabbage, Fake Squid
:: A City Council ordinance passed on this date in 1975 expressly prohibited the “display of images of a licentious, erotic, salient or pornographic nature, or which otherwise arouse the prurient interest for the sole purpose of titillation” on children’s metal lunchboxes.
:: The Seventh of the Eight Great Zoo Hoaxes was committed on this day in 1968.
:: Number of regular weekly Farmer’s Markets (regulated) within city limits: 12
:: Number of regular weekly Farmer’s Markets (regulated) within city limits three years ago: 4
:: Number of stands where it’s just guys selling produce streetside: At least 47 (according to a story this week by the Clarion-Journal)
:: Number of these out of a station wagon: 10
:: Number of these out of a van: 22
:: Number of these out of an old ice cream truck: 1
:: Number of vacant lots/properties being used for farming, under the city’s new UrbanFarm program: 18
:: When First Amendment activists blocked a 1979 attempt by the City Council to pass an ordinance against the sale and display of shirts bearing the legend “FBI: Federal Breast Inspector,” the City Council successfully retaliated by passing a different ordinance requiring three-hundred hours of qualification course work and a $500 fee for a Breast Inspector License. Individuals wearing the shirt but not bearing the license were fined under false advertising and Impersonation of Authority laws.
:: A city ordinance passed in 1881 prohibits the demolition of churches, cathedrals or opium dens “by hand.”
:: The Augenblick Trust lost its lease on a pair of warehouses by the Mean Harbor pier district, meaning that its collection of more than seven hundred parade floats and displays dating back through fifty years of local history will be put up for auction or destroyed this weekend. Collectors are eagerly looking forward to the impending sale of such artifacts as the 30-ft papier-mâché squid carried by volunteers at the 1961 parade honoring Marianas Trench explorers Jacques Piccard and Don Walsh.
Half-Pint Heroes
| January 11, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Half-Pint Heroes |
Many many years back, I collected action figures. I had hundreds of them, some still in the packages and some loose. Not even the vast majority of them were on display, but they still occupied an overwhelming amount of space in my home – I had two full bookshelves, several partial bookshelves, dozens hanging on the wall. It was a mess. I’m sure a lot of you have been in similar straits.
For a lot of reasons – the space, the clutter, the ethical issues of compulsive plastic purchasing and assembly-line worker conditions overseas, the fact that I had dozens of these things in boxes in a closet or a storage unit and never even got to look at them, and so on - I cleared out my collection. My life is a lot better in a lot of respects for having gotten rid of my collections – it’s less cluttered, for one thing – but I still sometimes miss those colorful little creations all lined up on my shelf.
To satisfy the collecting bug, I started putting together templates in Illustrator for what I call Half-Pint Heroes – I’d been drawing big-head versions of my favorite characters for years, but creating them in vector form lets me re-use body parts and change paint jobs while retaining the uniform scale (just like action figures!), and yet still come up with a virtual ‘shelf-full’.
I’ve been tweaking and refining the template for a year or so, and finally have it at a point where I was happy with it. The Vision below was the first completed figure from the inaugural ‘set’:
He makes up the first figure in my “Marvel Costumes From The 1970s I Thought Were Awesome” set. See, that’s another benefit of having a completely digital ‘toy’ collection, I get to create me own releases!
Here are the remaining four from this first set: Captain Britain, Daredevil, Iron Man and the Scarlet Witch. You can see all of the figures in this gallery series …
So who’s next? Well, I have some Superman villains to clean up so they fit the template (and a few to add to the collection), but beyond that you’ll have to wait and see!
Iron Man #100 on Covered…
| January 11, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Blogs and Online Projects |
Covered is a blog operated by Robert Goodin (see Robert’s superb take on an Arnim Zola comic over on Relaunched) which features reimagined recreations of existing comic book covers. I’ve contributed to it a couple of times before – first with my version of a super-fun Sekowsky/Anderson Brave and the Bold cover featuring Batman and Metamorpho, and then later with a border-busting Little Archie).
I’m back on the blog today with a reconstruction of the classic Iron Man #100, which was – fun fact for anyone writing my scandalous unauthorized biography – the only Iron Man comic I owned or read between the ages of five and … now. You can check out my cover below, or visit Covered to see it and hundreds of other excellent cover recreations.
Relaunched!
| January 10, 2012 | Posted by CalamityJon under Blogs and Online Projects |
Last year, when DC Comics announced a sudden relaunch and revamp of their entire line, I had an idea to organize and curate something of a response to the event. I contacted some independent and alternative artists of my acquaintance – and had quite a few more introduced to me in the process – and asked them to imagine and create their own revamped take on DC’s vast volume of characters, titles and concepts.
The result was DC FIFTY-TOO, which received a lot of positive coverage all over the web. The participants also had a blast taking part, and I was encouraged to repeat the effort with MARVEL UNIVERSE TOO: WHAT IF, where the crew from Fifty-Too (plus a few extras) jumped in and tackled the Marvel Universe.
Even though I had the hectic job of managining and organizing the event, I even had time to get in on the act. From the Marvel Universe, I gave long-time Alpha Flight regular Puck his own ongoing series, and on the DC side I was ecstatic to pencil a Plastic Man cover which was subsequently inked by the great Stephen DeStefano, hands down one of my favorite cartoonists:
After Marvel Universe-Too, there was a lot of buzz among participants as to what to do next – Vertigo, Valiant, classic Golden Age characters, assorted independent titles, even Harvey Comics - but the fact was that running and organizing the events were taking a big bite out of my free time, and I didn’t think I could continue to run the show.
Luckily, all-around good dudes Ryan Cody and Benjamin Birdie stepped up to shoulder two-thirds of the burden. With the new year, we’ve rebranded the DC Fifty-Too/Marvel Universe-Too site as RELAUNCHED - inviting artists to reimagine any comic book property which tickles their fancy – and have opened to door to general submissions, so that anyone can participate.
Our first entry went up last Tuesday - a great take on Dennis the Menace and friends by Charles Guthrie – and our second entry is due to go up any moment now – plus we’ll be announcing our first theme month on Thursday! I hope you’ll check out the site and keep an eye on the new submissions, and – if you’re an artist yourself – that you’ll consider contributing as well. Swing on by!





















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